Muffined

Stuffin’ my grinnin’ face with a dozen stunnin’ chocolate-covered honey raisin muffin

While recilin’ on the divan

With many a crumb fallin’ on my no longer close to bein’ a thin chin

Not thinkin’ that when I’m done glutinously eatin’

If I keep on daily sweetly grossly gorgin’

Just gettin’ up will be cause for huffin’ and puffin’

If not a rude awakin’  to a premature confinin’ in a  coffin

 

 

Garlicked (Reduxed)

Chopped, sauced with ginger, vegetables and meat and stir-fried a la Asian,

I’d eagerly eat it on any occasion.

Fried and calamaried,

I’d ravenously feed and feed.

Foiled, oiled and roasted,

I’d cream-ily spread it on bread.

Peeled, raw and skewered on a stick,

I’d never-ever-ly would even give it a lick!

Fruitcakes In Two Varieties

Soaked in rum

With chopped dried fruit, spices, and plenty of nuts

Homemade ones can be deliciously not ho hum.

So to these traditional holiday confections which are an object of my affection

While to many are an automatic untried cause of rejection

For goodness sake

Those that do should stop giving them a rap so bum

As I think they’re nuttier than a fruitcake.