food

Vegan or Pagan?

I thought about becoming a vegan

by converting from being a pagan

but I began to have some doubts

as it would have been too big a sacrifice

since sacrificing is in the roots from whence I began.

 

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Vegemitenotever

A thick, black food spread made from leftover brewers’ yeast extract.

With a beastly description as exact as that

There is no maybe, perhaps, possibly, or might regarding my ever trying Vegemite.

Then again,

I might smite the product wherever it is found.

If You Like This Thank Me But If You Hate It Thank The Three Stooges

My wife was in bed with a headache

So I decided to go all out for her sake.

I used foie gras, caviar, white truffles, smoked salmon, prawns, and camembert,

all things that I thought would bring her some cheer

but when I presented her with this elegant platter of canapes

she frowned and groaned

What are these?

I asked for a can of peas!