Crumpets Vs. English Muffins

Call me xenophobic

or better yet patriotic,

but I always think that Crumpets are for marmalade smeared, old lady  British grumpets

While covered with nooks and crannies,

Misnomered English Muffins are best for buttery all-American grannies.


Cinco De Mayo

In Mexico, except for the battle site of Puebla, it’s a very minor holiday,

Without major celebration and inebriation leading to many oles.

So if you want to participate in a festive Cinco de Mayo,

You’d be better off taking a flight to Ohio.



Trump’s first few weeks have been bumbling.

A sane person would surely find that humbling.

Yet while gazing into his wall-to-wall mirror with his grotesque hair he is fumbling,

Why don’t all my subjects genuflect to me he is heard grumbling and grumbling…

So as his uncontrollable ego drives him to keep on stumbling,

The nation is tumbling and tumbling…